First Steps After the 'Yes!'

Once you get engaged, you may be in a daze. But there's lots to do! So as soon as you snap out of that "happy foggy" phase then you should get to planning. The biggest thing I can recommend is to start with organizing and stay organized. Have a binder, preferably the kind that zip. Mine happened to be a free one from my cousin, that was a National Guard binder. Inside it had several pockets and pouches that I used for hairstyle magazines, and business cards. You know how you go to bridal fairs and there's oodles and oodles of cards, and information packets? The best thing is to sort them out in your binder. Also in my binder were folders, each was labeled: Attire & Beauty, Locations, Registries, Photography, Cakes & Catering, Entertainment, Gifts, etc. This was an important thing as I was incessantly finding things online that I wanted to do, had notes to myself (like what kinds of candy I wanted at the candy bar), and then all the 'goodies' from those fairs. Now, as you make decisions its important to clear out the folders to keep yourself organized. Like say, once you chose a location weed out papers about other locations. Keep all important papers (ie. contracts) in there with your chosen location pamphlet. (Keep the pamphlet for pictures and to put into your scrapbook!) Same thing with photographers. Once you've selected your photographer, throw out the others but keep the 'chosen one' along with the pictures you want taken, that photographers packages, and whatever relevant information you'd like. This weeding will save you time later on.

We've checked out other sites such as Howy.com and TheKnot.com, and got some other helpful tips too! Be sure you check them out.


• Make a Meal Plan - Before you sign the contracts, make sure you're not required to serve the same meal to your vendors that guests will receive. Otherwise, you could be paying for 20 additional lobster tails. Choose a less expensive (but equally hearty) meal for them instead. You will have to let your wedding caterer know a couple of days before the wedding exactly how many vendors you need to feed (don't forget photography assistants and band roadies) and what you want them to serve.Typically, you need one bartender per 50 guests to keep the line at a minimum. But if you're serving a signature cocktail that cannot be made ahead of time (or in large quantities), consider adding an extra server designated to this task. You must make sure there's ample time for setup. If you're renting a venue and bringing in outside help, ask, "What time can people come in to set things up?" Preston Bailey, author of Preston Bailey's Fantasy Weddings, recommends seeing if they can do it the day before, or at the very least the entire wedding day, before the event starts. Get any nonstandard changes to your agreements in writing or send the vendor a confirmation email saying, "Hello, just confirming that you'll keep the venue open until 2 a.m. versus midnight." Don't take anyone on his word -- by the time the big day rolls around, your contact may no longer be working there to vouch for you.


• Discuss your budget with your fiance and parents, since this will help many of your other choices fall into place. Also discuss wedding style – a big, elaborate ceremony with a formal seated dinner will cost more than a small afternoon service followed by cocktails and hors d’oeuvres. If a particular wedding style is very important to you, you might compromise in other areas – the guest list, for example. Your wedding budget should follow this formula: 48 to 50 percent of total budget to reception; 8 to 10 percent for flowers; 8 to 10 percent for attire; 8 to 10 percent for entertainment/music; 10 to 12 percent for photo/video; 2 to 3 percent for invites; 2 to 3 percent for gifts; and 8 percent for miscellaneous items like a wedding coordinator. It's essential to allocate an extra 5 to 10 percent of your money for surprise expenses like printing extra invites because of mistakes, additional tailoring needs, umbrellas for a rainy day, and ribbons for the wedding programs. Wedding budgets are all about balance. Start your budget planning by making a list of the crucial details, like the music, your wedding gown, the invitations, the flowers, and the photographer, and assign a number to each -- one being the most important and three being the least. Invest your money in all your number ones and cut corners on your number threes. (But everything can't fall into the number one category!) For example, if a designer gown and fabulous food are what really matter, you may have to choose simple invitations and smaller floral arrangements.

• Decide on the wedding and reception sites. Outdoors, indoors, hotel, mansion, loft, or garden – the possibilities are endless. Do some research by asking friends, or calling your local Chamber of Commerce and Historical Society for ideas. If you opt for a popular site, reserve it early since these places book up fast, or plan to hold your wedding at a less popular time (such as morning) or season (such as mid-winter). Know ahead of time if your wedding date falls on the same day as a trade conference, charity walk, or other local event that could affect traffic and hotel room availability. Sometimes, last-minute planning can work in your favor. The closer your date, the more bargaining power you have. Since most people book their wedding sites at least six months in advance, calling for open dates two months prior to your desired time can save you up to 25 percent. And, Friday and Sunday weddings should cost about 30 percent less than Saturday weddings.

• Visit a clergy member or judge with your fiance. Once you’ve agreed on a date for your wedding ceremony, you can begin coordinating the details of your service, and give him or her a chance to get to know you both before the wedding. Be prepared! Ask the manager of the house of worship or site where you'll be married for the list of restrictions (if any). For instance, is flash photography or bare shoulders prohibited? Or, if you're exchanging vows outdoors, are you allowed to plant tent stakes in the lawn (which is often a no-no)? To learn about marriage licenses, you can check your state's license requirements online, but confirm with a call to the county clerk's office to see when they're open. Even if it's open from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., they may issue marriage licenses only during slower times like, say, Thursdays from 2 p.m. to 3 p.m. Give a copy of your marriage license to your mom or your maid of honor (just in case you lose yours during the final days before your wedding).

• Choose your wedding dress and accessories. Be sure to find a dress that suits the mood of your celebration, as well as your own personal style – you want to be breathtaking on your wedding day, but you also want to be comfortable. Order your wedding dress early enough to leave time for alterations, changes, and any slip-ups that might occur. Don't go dress shopping on your own -- all the gowns will start to look the same after a while and it will be harder to recall which style you really loved. But be careful about who you do bring. If your mom or sibling can't make the trip, ask a friend who is truly honest. This is the time when you really need to know which dress looks best.

• Plan your color scheme. Select the color of one or two important items first – your flowers, your bridesmaids dresses, your table settings – then plan everything else around them. A celebration decorated in red roses and black velvet will have a very different mood than one where wildflowers, wicker and gingham prints prevail. Let one vendor lead you to another. Your wedding photographer can tell you which florist's blooms really pop, and your reception manager should know which band packs the dance floor.

• Find your wedding music. Music will set the tone for your festivities, so choose styles that everyone can enjoy. Look for a versatile band or disc jockey. Listen to tapes or request a live audition before making your final decision. Ask and You Might Receive...Request an extra hour for cocktails or for your band to throw in that Frank Sinatra sound-alike before you sign on the dotted line. Most vendors would rather secure the reservation than nickel-and-dime you early on and turn you off. Later on, though, they may have less of a motive to meet you halfway.

• Manage the Mail - Of course you want the perfect stamps for your wedding invitations. But not all stamps are widely available at every post office, especially in large quantities. Save yourself scouting time by ordering them online at USPS.com. And be sure to weigh your invitation and all the additional paper products before you send them out so you can attach the right amount of postage. Ask your stationer about the need for additional postage for odd-shaped envelopes. Make sure guests know where they're going. As easy as online map programs are to use, sometimes the directions are wrong -- or there's a quicker, less traffic-prone route to take. Ask your ceremony and reception sites for printouts of recommended driving directions, which they often keep in stock for weddings and will give to you for free, and test out the routes yourself. Know that as a rule, about 30 percent of the people you invite won't attend. Naturally, this depends on the location of your wedding (destination weddings are harder to attend), how many out-of-towners are on your list, and the timing of the event (some guests may have annual holiday or summer plans). On the other hand, everyone could accept -- knowing your wedding will be the can't-miss party of the year!

• Register for gifts. China, silver, and crystal are the traditional wedding-gift choices, but if the two of you love to ski, why not register for new skiing equipment as well? And if traveling is your passion, request new luggage, travel alarms and cameras.

• Give Thanks! Start Thank You's as soon as you receive your first gift, through bridal showers, and right on through the seemingly never-ending stream of "sorry we missed it" cards post-nuptials.

• Begin your guest list. You, your fiance, and your families should prioritize your lists into three parts: those who absolutely must attend the wedding, those whom you hope to include if there’s room, and those who will receive announcements rather than invitations. Get a grip on the approximate number of guests you'll invite before settling on a venue. This will ensure there's ample space for your crew. As a rule of thumb, allow for 25 to 30 square feet per guest. That may seem like a lot, but it's not if you count the space you'll need for the tables, bustling waiters, the band, and the dance floor. The easiest way to trim your wedding budget? Cut your guest list. Remember, half of your wedding expenses go to wining and dining your guests. If it's costing you $100 per person, eliminating one table of 10 can save you $1,000.  Pare down your guest list with the "tiers of priority" trick. Place immediate family, the bridal party, and best friends on top of the list; follow with aunts, uncles, cousins, and close friends you couldn't imagine not being there. Under that, list your parents' friends, neighbors, coworkers, and so on. If you need to make some cuts, start from the bottom until you reach your ideal number.When it comes to kids, you have four choices: You can welcome children with open arms; you can decide to have an "adults only" wedding; you can include immediate family only; or, you can hire a child care service to provide day care either at the reception space, in a hotel room, or in a family member's home. To prevent hurt feelings, it's wise to avoid allowing some families to bring children while excluding others (unless, of course, the children are in your bridal party).

• Consult a travel agent for honeymoon suggestions. Honeymoon is an integral part of any wedding planning. Travel agents are gold mines of great ideas. Be prepared to ask lots of questions, about everything from the local food to the weather – since even paradise gets damp during the rainy season.

• Take It One Step At A Time - Put together a wedding planning schedule and do things one by one, in a logical order, so you don't take on too much too fast and end up with everything snowballing around you. Don't hire any vendors before you've confirmed your date; don't design your cake before you've envisioned your flowers; and don't book a band before you've settled on a space.Don’t take everything too seriously. Planning a wedding together is a great chance to learn how to compromise and negotiate toward your goals. Love and laughter are the most important ingredients for a perfect wedding – and a happy marriage.