We've all seen it. That stressed out DIY bride that has only 24 hours in her day and needs about 40. The one who has monster-in-law or mother-of-the-bride drama to tend to on top of that planning schedule. Or the one who wants to hand create each of her 500 wedding favors by hand, but has no help from those damn bridesmaids. She has that harried look, that you hope will disappear before the big day, and is practically wearing a name tag that says Bridezilla (or maybe actually is sporting the name tag or shirt) Stress can kill the fun of wedding planning, right quick and in a hurry. But we've tracked down some stress management techniques to calm that pretty face, and some things that you can do to send that stress on a hiatus even if its just for one day.
1. Declare a wedding-free weekend.
For a full 48-hour period, pretend you're the two people you were before you got engaged (and, in the meantime, remind yourselves of why you wanted to get married to each other in the first place). No wedding planning or fighting allowed! No talk of hors d'oeuvres, seating charts, or first dance songs. Hang out, laugh, have fun, and flirt with each other for a change.
2. Have a night out with the girls (or boys).
With all the "togetherness" of being a future bride and groom, remind yourselves you're individuals too. Book a night out with your respective same-sex posse (again, no wedding talk). Hit the town like a swinging single and stay out past midnight. Take advantage of the fact that your future spouse isn't around to do something with your friends he or she doesn't like to do -- we're talking chick flick, batting cages, steak dinner, manicures. Then entertain each other the next day with tales of your exploits.
3. Go on a fancy date.
Chances are, for the past few months you've been scrimping and saving every extra nickel to supplement The Budget. If you've done well, reward yourselves for your miserly skills by spending a little of that cold hard cash. Book a table at the fanciest restaurant in town and go for the full monty: fine wine, appetizer, entree, dessert, and after-dinner drinks. Afterward, stop in a local jazz club and catch a torch singer belting out inspiring tunes de l'amour.
4. Take a drive.
Reserve a weekend afternoon and head for the open road. Check out that little place a couple of towns over that you always mean to visit. Test each other's map-reading skills. Play road games like, Who Can Spot the Most Out-of-State License Plates? Sing along to cheesy songs on the radio. Buy a souvenir at a highway truck stop. Stumble upon a romantic restaurant for lunch or dinner before heading home.
5. Mastermind a movie marathon.
There's nothing like a good movie to transport you from reality to fantasy. Take the phone off the hook, rent a whole slew of films, and spend an evening in, snacking on popcorn and Sno-Caps. The trick here is to stay away from wedding-theme fare -- sorry, this includes Father of the Bride -- while keeping the romance theme going with a steamy story like The Lover. Or opt for the comic relief of a Jim Carrey or Eddie Murphy flick -- laughter, after all, is still the best stress reliever.
6. Get in some game play.
Sometimes a little healthy competition serves to make you closer, right? Challenge your mate to a night of games: Pictionary, Scrabble, backgammon, even good old cards. If you own a Sony PlayStation 2, take the high-tech road to fun. Rather venture out? Head for the nearest bowling alley -- or look into go-carts, ice-skating, and tennis tournaments for other fun and sporty activities to enjoy a deux.
7. Revert to childhood.
There's nothing like a good amusement park to get you feeling like a kid again. Wake up extra early to avoid long lines, then get your fill of roller coasters, log flumes, and Ferris wheels. Challenge your future mate to a bumper car race. Fill up on cotton candy, funnel cake, and waffle cones. Take an old-fashioned photo. Then spend an hour or so trying to win a supersize stuffed animal to take home as a memento of the day.
8. Engage in an eat-a-thon.
If you both love to cook, compose a special theme menu for a romantic at-home date. Go shopping together and pick the freshest produce around (maybe there's a farmer's market near you) -- and remember to include some aphrodisiac ingredients! Nab a bouquet and some candles to pretty up your table while you're at it. Once at home, take time to really enjoy the meal prep process. Line up all your ingredients on the countertop and open a bottle of wine. And take lots of liberties when it comes to recipes -- nothing's better than creating signature dishes together.
Now that you know what to do to avoid that stress, or at least take a break from it, but when it has to be dealt with here's how to manage wedding stress:
• Don’t be afraid to admit you’re upset. Tell your partner what’s bothering you, whether it’s a serious question about your relationship or a relatively trivial worry that you’ll go blank when it comes time to say your vows. If you try to keep the stressful feelings to yourself, you’ll only transfer them to something else, getting overly irritated at a late train, or a run in your stockings. Take positive action whenever possible.
• Share the wedding responsibilities. If you’re the bride, don’t assume you have to do everything yourself. This idea is old fashioned, as well as exhausting. Ask your fiance to join you in picking out a catering hall and registering for gifts. He can write a share of the thank-you notes and handle all the honeymoon arrangements.
• Keep a calendar of everything you have to do. This kind of master plan gives you the secure feeling that you’re not forgetting something crucial. Also gather any business cards, fabric swatches or magazine clippings you accumulate all together in one place – either a wedding planner made for this purpose or a simple manila envelope. Organization has the magical effect of reducing stress and anxiety to a manageable level.
• Have a system for each task. Say you’re doing your invitations. First, see if the task can be broken down into steps. (You have to address the envelopes, stuff them, seal them and stamp them.) Then, decide how you’ll tackle each step: How long it should take and who will do it. Next, set a completion date (invitations should be mailed six weeks before the wedding). Finally, take action by setting a time and a place to begin.
• Be Realistic With Your Time
When it comes down to the last month of your planning (and when you're particularly harried) look at your mile long to-do list and cut three things. Yes, cut three things. Not crucial things that you just don't feel like doing, such as picking a processional song or confirming final details with all of your vendors. Eliminate only the over-the-top tasks like hand-painting "Just Married" signs, or baking cookies for all of the welcome bags. Make a pledge to not think about them ever again.
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